Screw Aphrodite
by Rhettaram
Summary: Though the gods aren't technically allowed to mess with the lives of demigods, you can't blame them for wanting to meddle a little. So, when a specific goddess take a certain interest to the love life of the son of Hades, things get a little.. weird. Starting with the whiskers. And the paws. And the tail. Oh, and then the talking croissant. Percico/Pernico/Nicercy Rating may change


CHAPTER ONE

Nico awoke to a sharp pain in his left leg. He stretched, flexing it to test the pain, and winced. Not to bad, he decided, but he should probably check in at the infirmary and have Will examine it. He swung his tail back and forth lazily. Wait- what?! Since when did he have a tail?! NIco cracked his eyes open, and looked down at his body, and almost fainted.

He had black, fluffy fur, and four short legs with paws. Paws and _claws_. Long, sharp claws. In case you haven't guessed already, he was a cat. A black Bombay cat. He shouldn't even know what breed he is! How does he know what breed he is? Ugh!

He opened his eyes all the way and took in his surroundings, then had a double take. Everything was huge, like he looking through a magnifying glass. The black bedspread, curtains and ebony wardrobe set him at ease a bit. At least he was in his own cabin. He carefully stood, trying to avoid putting any pressure on his injured leg. It was surprisingly effortless to balance as a cat; as a human, he'd surely be falling over. Interesting.

Teetering on his other three legs, Nico made his way off of his bed and to the door that was cracked open. Okay, that was a little concerning. Why the Hades was his door open?! He squeezed through the door frame, and nudged it with his head in a failed attempt to close it.

He glanced around him, startled to see it was night. He could have sworn he'd gone to bed pretty late yesterday. But what was even more strange, he thought, was his heightened night-vision. As a son of Hades, he could see in the dark better than others, but this was just a whole new level of _wow_. Everything around him looked so clear! His vision stretched out for what seemed like miles without even getting blurry. Now he understood why cats were such great hunters.

Step by step, he managed to hobble to the Athena cabin. As much as he disliked Annabitch and her siblings, she was the one most likely to be able to figure out his problem. Actually, now that he thought about it, he wouldn't mind staying a cat for a bit longer. It would be fun to experiment, play around with his new body.

He continued his train of thought until he arrived at Cabin 6. The door was locked. _Shoot_. Umm… hm. I'm a cat, right? So what would a cat do? The pondered for a minute, and formed a brilliant plan.

"Mroooooooow!"

Nico cried as loud as he could, trying to communicate to the campers inside. He approached the door a bit more and began to scratch the surface of the wood and wiggle the door on its hinges.

"Mroooooooow!"

The door slammed open, knocking Nico of balance, and an aggravated girl stormed out. She knelt down and examined the door. "Great! Now we have to fix the door!" she murmured, obviously annoyed. Then she spotted the little black cat that was lying injured on the doorstep, and her eyes softened. "Poor thing!" she cooed, picking Nico up. "Don't worry, I'll fix you up in no time."

"Meow." he responded, cuddling up next to her comforting heat.

We entered the cabin, and there were at least six other demigods already half-awake from the rukus he had caused. He smirked (can cats even do that?). 5 minutes and he was already getting the hang of this.

"Look who was making all that noise!" the girl exclaimed quietly, setting the cat down gently on one of the beds. "I think he's injured on his left leg. He was limping."

A boy walked up to where Nico lay and studied him. "Black Bombay, around 17 cat-years old." he stated, and felt the cat's leg.

Nico let out a painful hiss, pulling his leg in and away from the proding hand. "Sorry little buddy, but I'm gonna have to touch your leg to help you." he said softly.

Nico let out a hesitant 'meow' and stretched out his leg for the irritating boy to examine it. "That's weird! It's like it understands us." she girl from earlier whispered. "Wait- hold on. Kitty, if you can understand me, I want you to bite Micah's hand. He's the dude who keeps poking at your leg."

If Nico were human, he would have burst out on laughter at the humor of this situation. He moved his head slightly, and softly nibbled on the boy's palm. The girl gasped, and started jumping up and down. "I knew it!" she practically screamed, "I knew cats were smarter than we thought!"

Her sudden burst of excitement awarded her with a loud "Shhh!" from the rest of the cabin. "Sorry not sorry, guys!" she whispered excitedly.

Micah stared at Nico with wide eyes. "Astounding…" he hummed. "All this time… _wow_."

The black cat looked at them like ' _Yes, wow. Now help my frikin' leg! Idiots'_. Micah immediately busted open his laptop, typing frantically on a new document. Nico got an idea.

"Mrow!" he limped over to the laptop, and swatted at the boy's hands.

"What? Do you need something?" Micah inquired, leaning in. Nico leaped onto his lap, and took over the keyboard. "OH MY GODS OH MY GODS OH MY GODS I THINK HE'S TYPING!" the son of Athena screeched. "Look!"

Everybody awake leaned to observe the cat as Nico carefully navigated his paws on the keys. Slowly but surely, he began to type out a sentence. His human seat looked just about ready to faint. He voiced the letters out loud as the cat typed.

"I… space.. N… E… E… D… space… H… E… L… P… space… N… O… W… space…" Micah paused, then laughed at what the cat had typed next. "Idiots."

"Yes sir, Mr. Cat, right away!" he chuckled in a fake-serious tone. "You saw what he typed! Fetch the first aid!"

He could get used to this.


End file.
